In general I have an idea of what I
want to do for a blog post each month, but I've taken a break from
posting for awhile so all those ideas were floating in my head and
I'm picking my favorite as the topic for this month. It has to do
with satisfaction. I'm not a rock music fan, but this phrase has been on my mind: 'I can't get no satisfaction...'
The song rings true for many people.
The object of satisfaction, of course, varies. It could be a sense of
accomplishment, good grades, a nice salary, a dream home, a loving
relationship, kids who appreciate you, or simply a clean apartment.
The problem is that no matter how much we accomplish, there is always
a state of higher satisfaction that can be reached, and hence, the
elation of the feeling disappears quickly, especially with cleaning!
It's not feasible to do an experiment
for each desire we have in life, but for one of my desires I did a
little test at the beginning of the year. I didn't mention it on the
blog or to that many people because I didn't know how long I would
last. It was sort of an extended Lent, if you will.
I decided to give up...clothing. More
specifically, I tried to not buy any new clothing, and if I wanted
something I would make it myself (sew it).
When I look at my schrank (standing
closet) it is full, and Max always tells me I look good whether I'm
in a t-shirt or a dress. When I thought about what he said, I
realized that I hardly ever feel like I look good. Most of the time I
think I look 'almost' good, because there's always one or two things
I could do to my outfit or add that would make it perfect. If I have
a good dress I don't have the right shoes, or if I have the right
shoes and clothes, sometimes the clothes don't fit exactly right. Or
maybe what I'm wearing is great but my hair looks bad. Or, more
recently, maybe I can't wear contacts because I'm tired (my eyes get
too dry for them) and then I feel like an old lady with a bun and
glasses. Old lady fashion is preferable for school since I teach
middle school boys, but not really a good look for everywhere else.
The first three months of the
experiment I constantly reminded myself that I have everything I need
and more, but the thoughts were always in the back of my mind, 'I
want a green coat, the shoes don't match this outfit, I want brown
flats, if only I had smaller silver earrings...' and on and on. And
when I talked about it to Max, he always said, 'But you look good
babe!' Why didn't I believe him?
In about the fourth month I started to
relax a little and to believe that I have all I need and I'm good, no
need to buy the latest this or that. And in the meantime I finished a
tank top sewing project that I'd had in my closet for a few months. I
felt proud to create something of my own that mostly fit and looked
cute. I think in the West most people take their clothing for granted
and don't think about the effort put into making it, and then it's
easier to throw away. If you make something yourself then it's more
special and a little harder to get rid of (and usually cheaper.)
The last month of the challenge (May) I
made the mistake of going to several clothing stores. I had to buy a
dress for the prom and decided to break the trial. I saw all the new
styles out (80s revamped really) and spent hours walking through the
stores looking at the clothes. My favorite was all the lace put on
everything, and I couldn't take it any longer. I bought a black top
for the prom since I couldn't find a good dress, and then in June I
bought a few new pieces.
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| www.forever21.com |
And still I wonder, with all that I
have, why do I constantly want more? Not just in clothing, but in
many ways. At what point can I be satisfied with what I have? Another
word for satisfaction can be peace. Why can I not be at peace with
certain things? I believe God places a restlessness in us in some
circumstances for a good reason, especially when it's time for a
transition in life (for example, I know some people who became
obsessed with babies right before the wife became pregnant and they
longed for a third person in their home). But there is a difference
between this restlessness and unnecessary emotional desire that can
damage life. What I mean is, sometimes it's okay to be restless and
sometimes it's inappropriate. (This thought could be expanded much
further but I leave it at that.)
I want to be at peace with what I have and not be longing for more. I particularly love this verse.
First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. -Proverbs 30:8 (New Living Translation)
The book of Proverbs is many times about finding the wisdom to understand a situation and deal with it accordingly, sometimes reacting one way and sometimes another (with the basis that wisdom comes from the fear of the Lord). That's why I said sometimes you can be restless and sometimes not, but ultimately knowing the right course is a matter of praying it through.
I want to be at peace with what I have and not be longing for more. I particularly love this verse.
First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. -Proverbs 30:8 (New Living Translation)
The book of Proverbs is many times about finding the wisdom to understand a situation and deal with it accordingly, sometimes reacting one way and sometimes another (with the basis that wisdom comes from the fear of the Lord). That's why I said sometimes you can be restless and sometimes not, but ultimately knowing the right course is a matter of praying it through.
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| Prom 2015 |
